Feeling Guilty Is An Internal Fear Of Punishment

Feeling guilty can be very unpleasant. With every step you take you feel that uncertainty that fear always comes back. But where does this guilt come from? Is feeling guilty an internal fear of punishment?

It is important that you look at the past, at your childhood, the age when the majority of your traumas and fears were formed.

• How did your parents treat you?
• What kind of reinforcement did they give you?
• Were you raised with the help of fear at certain times?

While you probably don’t think too much about the upbringing your parents gave you, the way they treated you can make guilt a vital part of your adult life. Let’s see how this all happens.

An internal fear of punishment

When we talk about punishment, we don’t just mean the punishments that are more common such as:

• “Stay in your room.”
• “You are not allowed to use the car for a week.”

There are other types of punishment that can hurt more and potentially leave deep emotional wounds. These can open when you are an adult.

One type of punishment is the silent approach. A child is suddenly unable to communicate with the parents. They talk, but no one responds. This can make them feel lonely, abandoned and scared. But most of all they feel guilty.

Another type of punishment is an excessive response from a parent who says things like:

• “Why did you do this to me?”
• “You don’t deserve this.”

All this can create feelings of guilt that the child will take on. Every word you say as a parent and every attitude you have towards your children can create feelings of guilt that can cause problems later when the kids grow up.

However, once you identify where they come from, these types of feelings can be resolved and eliminated. It’s not easy, but it’s possible.

What do you feel guilty about?

To stop feeling guilty, it’s important to ask yourself what you usually feel guilty about once you’ve identified the source. Following are some possible examples:

• I feel guilty when my friend gets angry when I don’t do what he/she wants or think differently.
• I feel guilty when a loved one doesn’t reply to a message right away. This makes me think I’ve said something offensive or they’re mad at me (without any reason for making those assumptions).
• I feel guilty because I feel guilty. I think I am worth nothing, I deserve nothing and I am inferior to other persons.

As you can see, feeling guilty and low self-esteem are two concepts that are almost connected. In many of these examples, you see insecurity, along with a low tolerance for frustration and fear of abandonment.

The last one is the most remarkable: feeling guilty for feeling guilty. However, this is more common than you might think. People who feel guilty about everything can experience these kinds of extremes.

Stop feeling guilty

To stop feeling guilty, you must first strengthen your self-esteem. This can eliminate the insecurities and fears that make you feel this way every day.

Next, you need to figure out during which context guilt usually emerges.

• Is it a fear that someone will get mad at you?
• Is it when someone disrespects your opinion?

This can give you an idea of ​​how much the situations resemble the events of your childhood, which were the source of your guilt at the time.

The last thing to do is be aware of this. Don’t blame your parents (if that is the case). Instead, accept responsibility for your guilt and work on managing your emotions. Every time this feeling comes up, you have to ask yourself why.

Most of the time you will find that you have no reason to feel guilty and sometimes you can even anticipate things that haven’t even happened yet when you feel guilty.

Either way, learning to overcome your debt is important in helping you live a happier life. Are you ready to stop feeling guilty?