How Should You Deal With A Friend Who Lies To You?

If you come across a liar on the street, you can just walk away or ignore what they say. But more than once, you’ve probably asked yourself how to deal with a friend who lies to you, or a family member who does the same?

Surely there are many things that go through your mind after you hear their first lie. Should you confront them, or is it better to just ignore them? How do you deal with someone you love, but can’t trust at all right now?

These are difficult situations, for you are torn between your affection and justice. However, a wrong choice can cause serious damage to your band. Fortunately, there are a few steps to dealing with a liar, be it a child or an adult.

Follow these steps to deal with a friend who lies to you

1. Understand why he or she is lying

You may have already found out that your friend lied. You can experience this as a serious problem that confuses you. More important than the fact that they lied, though, is understanding why exactly they lied.

That way you can decide for yourself if the lies are a serious problem or if your friend (or relative) is just not trying to hurt you.

The truth is, not all lies are created equal. Some are serious, and others are ‘white lies’.

Some people lie:

• to avoid conflict
• because of their own insecurities
• to uphold their reputation towards others

Such situations are of course not that problematic, but when there is addiction, violence, financial difficulties or serious damage behind the lies, then the situation changes completely.

2. Avoid the word “liar”

Confronting a liar will rarely lead to positive change. Even if you have evidence and confront the person about it, it won’t necessarily make them stop lying.

Worse, it can make them alert and make them feel suspicious of you!

That also means that the cheated person is not the only one with trust issues. Liars who feel caught in the act also end up in that dynamic.

Accusing and questioning them will only encourage them to change their lies so they don’t get caught.

It is best to go the extra mile and avoid conflict or even more lies.

3. Build trust and honesty

You can’t just ignore a friend who lies to you. That means it’s up to you to change the situation. You should encourage positive feelings and interactions that can improve your relationship.

So your words should be aimed at reminding them at all times of the importance of trust and sincerity. Even a liar doesn’t like to be cheated on.

4. Make sure you are not unpleasantly surprised

When you trust someone who lies to you, you gradually lose trust in that person. That also makes you suspicious, because you never know what might happen. You are then very insecure.

Obviously you want a liar to change their behavior, but if there’s one thing life teaches us, it’s that people don’t just change.

A realistic attitude is always better than holding false hopes. You must learn to recognize that the so-called ‘worst case scenario’ can always arise.

Remember that chronic liars are selfish people who don’t want to commit to anything. They also have an incredible ability to get you into trouble. It is best to be careful and not expect anything from a friend who is constantly lying to you.

5. Take a personal position or make a decision

If you have a friend who lies to you, it’s best to prevent them from running your life or making decisions for you.

Their lies should actually wake you up so that you can no longer rely on them and take your future into your own hands.

Once you become aware of this malicious pattern, you have two options:

You either become their victim or you can take responsibility and make sure you don’t get hurt in the relationship with the liar. Everything is possible with:

• a positive attitude
• ingenuity
• common sense

That means you don’t feel the need to push away someone you love, whether that’s a parent, your child, a sibling, or even a best friend.

Setting boundaries, being dependent, and not giving liars any responsibilities will be crucial.

What if the friend who is lying to you is someone you really respect?

The most important thing is not to think of your feelings as wasted. Taking a little distance doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore. Give as much support as you can.

However, if their lies are having negative effects on your life, it might be time to consider avoiding them. It can be dangerous and exhausting to have a friend who constantly lies to you.